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Title : Imperfect rhymes.
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Imperfect rhymes.

I don't know what poems and raps you are working on, but me, I needed a rhyme for "infinite." I resorted to using a website called Rhyme Zone, which informed me that there were no perfect rhymes, but it listed near rhymes, ranking them according to nearness, with 100 being a perfect rhyme.

First on the list was "pinion nut," with a 92 rating. Less near were "intimate," "indiscriminate," and "Berlin summit," at 88. The most interesting suggestion was "sinful lust," 84....

Conversation at Meadhouse:

ME: Do you know what a pinion nut is?

MEADE: Opinion nut?

ME: No! A ...  ... ...  pinion ... nut?

MEADE: Not some nutty guy with an opinion?

ME: No. Pinion. Nut.

MEADE: Like a pine nut?

ME: That's what I thought too. No. The hardware kind of nut. 

It's hard to move forward poetically from "infinite" to "pinion nut" but probably actually a better move than going for "sinful lust." Actually, the best solution is to use "opinion nut"!

Speaking of infinite, you're probably wondering whether it's going to take me forever to get to that story I will call Andrea, Jennifer, and The 2 Williams. If I'd seen that last night, I'd have jumped right on it. But I went to sleep at the Tom Brady bedtime (8:30 p.m.), so I missed my chance to be an earlier noticer of this ripe, ripe tidbit. I saw it first thing when I woke up (at 3:30 a.m.), but I knew it had been noticed all over the place. I'll have to bring more to the table than a simple acknowledgment of the evil, hilarious screwup. But I assure you I mean to get to it. It's one of my favorite stories ever. It's nearly 8 a.m., so I've been warming this place up for 4 hours. It's time to face the music. The next post will be "Andrea, Jennifer, and The 2 Williams."

Thus articles Imperfect rhymes.

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