Title : "... I feel really sad when I think about how I am not a wanted person. I don’t think people know the depth of it."
link : "... I feel really sad when I think about how I am not a wanted person. I don’t think people know the depth of it."
"... I feel really sad when I think about how I am not a wanted person. I don’t think people know the depth of it."
"... I am a pretty rational person. I am constantly observing and learning about the world around me. I come across as sharp, mature, and I think unfazed by most things. I am not outwardly emotional, and actually friends would describe me as a chatty, sardonic, smartass.... But there is an underlying romantic in me that drives me crazy. I watch everyone else get to connect, and I just get to sit there watching, offering my analysis, telling people who should text who, indulging in gossip about secret trysts. That’s my role. I just want to be in the thick of it — messy, young, and stupid. I want to turn my brain off and go for it, but I just can’t. What makes me doubly sad is that the feeling of physical unwantedness mixes in with a more general feeling of unwantedness. Maybe people would like to connect to me more if I could just shut up? If I didn’t pick apart every little thing going on to later analyze it? If I was less of a mouthy smartass?"From "‘I’ve Never Had Sex, and I Feel Like I Never Will’" — a letter to the New York Magazine advice columnist.
From the answer:
The second you quiet down and honor yourself by treating yourself like the ultimate DECIDER in the picture, you will find a pile of drooling men collecting around your ankles.... The only weapon you need is a sense of your own agency and a willingness to be proclaimed a fucking weirdo by a douchebag who disguised himself as a nice dude just to get into your pants. When a grabby douche calls you a weirdo, that’s a badge of honor, a shiny accolade to be treasured henceforth. You are a true hero who just caused an insecure dweeby dipshit to second-guess himself for a millisecond. His ferocity is a direct reflection of how infrequently the world asks him to examine the contents of his own startlingly empty brain.So.... the answer to "Maybe people would like to connect to me more if I could just shut up?" is yes?!
So show up and be your sardonic self, but dare to feel your way forward without too many words... Quiet presence is the hottest thing in the universe....
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