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Title : Of course, Trump's photo op with the hero dog was all wrong.
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Of course, Trump's photo op with the hero dog was all wrong.

There's no way it could have been right, so the question only was which aspects of the op would journalists select in saying it was wrong.

I'm reading "How the White House ruined the hero dog," an opinion piece by Molly Roberts in The Washington Post. It will have to stand in for all the other hero dog stories in the anti-Trump press. (I'm writing a blog here and can't survey everything. I have my instinct, based on looking around, and I'm going to pounce on this one thing.)

Paragraph #1 identifies the main screwup, confusion about the sex of the dog that has — as Roberts puts it "garnered praise and plenty of pets." (There's that word, "garnered," here, alongside wan alliteration. I wish Roberts had worked harder and done the alliteration with "g" — something like "garnered goodly gobs of 'good girl!' greetings." You've got to convince us you alliterated on purpose. Accidental alliteration at the 3-word level needs editing.)

Now, the best thing about Trump's dog photo op was his comic banter:

“This is Conan, right now probably the world’s most famous dog,” President Trump announced. “It’s trained that if you open your mouth, you will be attacked... They were going to put a muzzle on the dog... but then it gets even more violent.... Conan is a tough cookie, and nobody’s going to mess with Conan... You’re very lucky, because he’s not in a bad mood today."

But Trump haters can fault that. The dog is a successful, trained killer, and it did something very serious. It's no joke. We should be somber about the killing we needed to do. It's not the time for a comedy routine. Maybe you could say that. But as a comedy routine, it was very funny. Trump's endless antagonism of the press took the form of suggesting that the dog — the trained dog — would attack them if he were simply "in a bad mood."

Roberts returns to the subject of the dog's sex. (Interestingly, the word "sex" does not appear in the article. To avoid that utterly apt but perhaps triggering word, Robert's sticks to the language of children: Is it a "boy" or a "girl," a "he" or a "she"?) The screwup is not even Trump's! You have to get to the 9th paragraph for the Trump-favoring concession: "President Trump, in other words, was right." Earlier the White House had communicated reporters that the dog was female, then, hours later, corrected it. The dog is male. After admitting that Trump was right all along, Roberts struggles to make it bad, conjuring up "plenty of people" to contain the feeling that there's still something wrong having to do with the sex... I mean boy-or-girlness of the dog:

Call them cynics, or call them skeptics, or call them everyday people stumbling around a landscape of dissimulation and conspiracy theories emitted from the highest echelons of government — but plenty of people didn’t really buy it.

I note the alliteration — "plenty of people." And the poetic imagery —  "a landscape of dissimulation." It's a bad image, because landscapes don't dissimulate. I guess she doesn't want to accuse the "everyday people" doing the dissimulation. They're just confused and trying to understand, so they are "stumbling." That puts them on a landscape. It's a stumble-producing landscape because "dissimulation and conspiracy theories" have been "emitted" onto it. Maybe what's been dropped from above — "from the highest echelons" — is like a heavy rain, gouging arroyos.

Was it really possible that an administration apparatchik had sent a girl dog into a memory hole from which it emerged a guy dog, purely to preserve the president’s ego? And should we freak out if the answer is yes?

Great questions! There really is no reason to feel confident that the dog shown is the actual dog and not some doggy double. Maybe there were several model dogs brought to the White House and the one that reacted the best to Trump, Pence, and Melania was selected, and it turned out to be a male rather than, as expected, the female. Or maybe Trump got to pick his favorite, and he's a male supremacist and insisted on the male.

Roberts concludes by saying that a dog story really ought to have brought us all together, but it didn't. Isn't that terrible? Well, it's 100% predictable. Trump wanted to do his photo op and it should have been something that brought us together. But how can you blame Trump if it didn't work?

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