Title : "Odor: Wet lily trampled by rude outlaw in deep forest/Eyes: Velvety danger."
link : "Odor: Wet lily trampled by rude outlaw in deep forest/Eyes: Velvety danger."
"Odor: Wet lily trampled by rude outlaw in deep forest/Eyes: Velvety danger."
I'm reading "Maya's Proposal" — which is "an extraordinary document: A proposal of marriage" presented by E. Jean Carroll, the Elle magazine advice columnist whose new book accuses President Trump of rape. The new book is not yet available, so I was poking around in her old books and I found this fascinating booklet, for only 99¢. I read it — out loud (to Meade) — in one sitting. It was fantastic. We're told that this is an authentic letter that Carroll received from a real person who really is who she says she is — a beautiful woman in India who wants a husband, quick.I'll just give you a few of my favorite snippets:
Reasons for Marrying: Pleasure, curiosity, boredom, breeding, fear, money, revenge, love.Did you see that? Men whose semen exits slower than 27 mph when ejaculated!
Men Maya Does Not Like: Men with wens, men with foul manners, men with thin thighs, men with small quantity of semen, men whose semen exits slower than 27 mph when ejaculated, men with less than 330 million sperm per teaspoon, men with long thumb nails, men with small foreheads, men with sharp-ended teeth, men who wear wigs, men whose passion wanes, men with short jaghana, men who lie, men who smell like moon fish left in sun, men who are pasty-white, men without money, men who are women.
She buys four dresses every year. She buys two pair of sandals every year. She cooks well. Every month she gets periods. She has three-day periods. Menstrual blood is dark like ruby, sleek, stretchy, supple. She wants to marry soon to get baby son....This is a well-spent 99¢, I am telling you. I must resist quoting too much, so I am skipping details on "Hipness," "Yoni," "Pubic hair," and I'll just give one more snippet, "Anointing Your Lingam":
Maya likes to have sex
She likes sex.
She has good pubic hair.
Horse man! Come gallop in Maya's little garden!
She has good long hands and legs....
She is ready to shampoo your thighs.
She is ready to play games of dice.
She is ready to play "find the middle finger."
She is ready to teach your parrot to speak.
She is ready to love you with her eyes.
She is ready to love you with her mind.
She is ready to destroy her sleep....
Hair is glossy. Hair is long. Man once saw Maya's hair and whispered: "Your hair is so beautiful I want to strangle myself with it."
Maya will apply the flowers which have been thrown on a human corpse before it is burned. This produces very amorous effect. Maya will take the excrement of a monkey, dip it oil of mango and bury it for eight months in the trunk of an almond tree and then apply it to your lingam---and Maya promises: The lingam of the camel will look small by comparison.
Thus articles "Odor: Wet lily trampled by rude outlaw in deep forest/Eyes: Velvety danger."
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