Title : "I was never thrilled about the actual name 'Dad,' which in American culture is someone who tells bad jokes and wears socks with sandals."
link : "I was never thrilled about the actual name 'Dad,' which in American culture is someone who tells bad jokes and wears socks with sandals."
"I was never thrilled about the actual name 'Dad,' which in American culture is someone who tells bad jokes and wears socks with sandals."
"He is Lord of the Grill and the Duke of Fix-it. He’s the best of the 'good guys,' but when it comes to the nitty-gritty of parenting, 'Mom' schedules the appointments, buys the clothes and makes the play dates. It is a common division of labor for most heterosexual couples: Moms do more.... I, with callused hands, spent a great deal of time with our children when they were infants. As an academic, I was grateful for long summers and even longer, Swedish-style paternity leaves. I took the kids to usual spots like parks and zoos, but we also went to places like Mommy and Me Yoga and baby swim lessons. I quickly learned that the daytime world of child care, even in New York City, is populated almost exclusively by mothers, nannies and children...."Writes Kevin Noble Maillard (a lawprof) in "When Being a Good ‘Dad’ Gets You Promoted to ‘Mommy’" (NYT). His 3-year-old daughter calls him "Mommy." And his 5-year-old son had called both parents “mama” until he was "steer[ed]" toward "papa" and took to calling his father "Mimi."
Maillard — who knows of a 10-year-old boy who calls his father “Honey” — likes the idea of children being "creative" in what to call their parents. He contrasts that to grandparents, who choose what they are to be called? Did you know grandparents have that privilege? I experienced that phenomenon in my childhood, when my paternal grandmother — who felt she was too youthful to be called "grandma" — got away with determining that she would be called "Mom" (and therefore that her husband was "Pop"). I grew up thinking of "Mom" and "Pop" as words for grandparents and never advanced from calling my mother "Mommy" to calling her "Mom." She simply became "Mother."
As for my father, he was, for me, for his entire life and beyond, "Daddy." I never got the slightest clue whether he started that or perpetuated it or whether he liked it or not. Maybe that was because it was a time in American culture when fathers didn't muse openly about how they felt about relationships.
Anyway, on the topic of grandparents claiming the power to name themselves, Maillard links to "Grandude? G-dawg? Nonny? Boomers Name Themselves" (NYT):
... I know a grandma who goes by Z. And one who has zero Italian ancestors but nonetheless dubbed herself Nonny, a variant on Nonna, because it felt distinctive. And a Brookline, Mass., woman named Suzanne Modigliani, whose daughter’s friends used to abbreviate that to SuMo. Now, she’s GranMo....Ha ha. Just like Mom in the 1940s! (I was born in 1951, but I was the third grandchild.)
... Georgia Witkin’s “The Modern Grandparent’s Handbook” actually lists 251 grandparental names (I counted), divided by gender into three categories: Traditional, Trendy and Playful. I wouldn’t volunteer to be known as Sweetums, G-dawg, Faux Pa or Grandude, however playfully, but apparently some folks have....
Partly, it’s a boomer thing. Tradition didn’t always seem a good enough reason....
But here’s my deeper suspicion: However mightily my peers may pine for grandchildren and adore them when they arrive, some don’t want to acknowledge being old enough to be dubbed Grandpop or Granny...
My friend Ellen Edwards Villa sent her mother a “grandma” charm for her charm bracelet when her first grandchild was born. The gift came back by return mail. Her mother, a mere 69 at the time, objected that she wasn’t old enough to be a grandma. She insisted her grandchildren call her Sweetie Pie, instead, and they did.Ha. When my first husband's father told his mother we were going to have a baby — her first grandchild — what he thought would be funny and nice was to call her on the phone and respond to her "hello" with "Hi, Grandma," she was not delighted but offended. Instead of talking about this wonderful new person approaching our world, the subject had to be the way she was not old.
Boomers always think it's about Boomers, but this thing of women insisting they are not old is old old old.
Which is why I prefer to say I am old.
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